Kim Porter holds the key to Puffy's heart
The New York Post has an article on Kim Porter and Puffy Combs in today's online edition. The headline loudly declares 'DIDDY BABY MAMA MOVES OUT!' But my loyal readers know that Kim and Puffy have maintained separate residences for years now. She wasn't living with him when she maintained a home and sent her kids to private school here in Atlanta. And my readers also recall that she left Atlanta last year and bought a home in New Jersey. If you saw the video of her twins D'Lila and Jessie James then you saw her spacious home.
Here's the real reason this story was planted in today's New York Post:
"Kim is in Louisiana filming a movie right now, and when it's done she's moving to L.A.," the insider said. "She is focusing on her career as a model and actress and raising her children..."Kim is no dummy: she's a smart and independent woman who's pushing 40 (she'll be 39 this year), and she has no time to waste. Plus, she's a darn good actress to boot.
Kim holds a Master's degree in Jump off-ology. And the first thing they teach in Jump off 101 is never make yourself dependent on any man. First you make him dependent on you emotionally and physically and then you get that money. Puffy may stray but he always crawls back to Kim with his tail between his legs. Why? Because Kim knows her man inside and out. She's studied him and she knows his wants, desires and weaknesses. She doesn't wear her heart or her emotions on her sleeve. She understands that men will be men and that a woman has to sacrifice a lot in order to
92 comments:
i guess you said that sandra
LOL oh really. Wasn't it just a few post back where "we" were dogging T-Pain's wife, R. Kelly's wife and all of the other women who lowers their standards and continue to be with men this trifling men simply b/c that's what men do anyway so you might as well get paid. Wow, my black Nubian queens, is this what we have become??? I surely hope not. But I will tell Ms. Porter this, she may know 'her' man in and out and he may come crawling back, but with the 30k she's getting in child support she might want to go and buy her self some self esteem.
So in hindsight…your man can continue to knock you up and sleep with all the women he wants but hey you’re getting paid...what an exchange. Lastly, she's mighty brave to continue sleeping with him with no protection. I guess that’s why African American women are the leading carriers of HIV.
She's cheating herself, sure she has his money, his kids but does she really have his heart? He's already told her and the world through that Essence magazine article that he's not ready to be committed to her....huge red flag there....but it's good she's starting to acknowledge the light.
Kim holds a Master's degree in Jump off-ology.
LAMO. Not a B.A. Not a B.S. But a Master's Degree in Jump off-ology.
Sandra, I lost my Aunt on yesterday. You just helped me laugh during a difficult time. Thank you.
PS Kim also know Puffy's (or is it Diddy) secrets. Can we all say, "Blackmail."
I'm sorry to hear that attorneymom. :(
@missrock: Amen! tell the truth and shame the devil, who's fooling who!
@attorneymom:"Blackmail" ???...you might be on to something
Money or know money she's wack, she would get some credit from me if he married her. Having kids by a rich man get you kudo's? I dont get it!
Sandra, you pull no punches. That's why I love you!
I agree with attorneymom on the blackmail comment! I also send my condolences...
Kim has her plan, some women are just blessed to have it like that.
Some of us want love and commitment and the traditional stability of having a man that's going to come home to you every night, have dinner, play with the kids, etc. Well that's not reality.
My thing is...you play the hand your life is dealt.
Kim is winning in the end. She's able to still pursue her dreams while being a mother of three young children. Such a hard feat to complete without money. So I can't knock the hustle.
Low self esteem, not even!
Sandra I couldnt tell from your post. Do you agree with what she is doing?
And she is teaching her daughters that men can treat you anyway they like as long as they got dough. Great example
flyqt said...
Sandra I couldnt tell from your post. Do you agree with what she is doing?
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I agree with a woman getting hers. Men get theirs every day so why can't women get it too? Women work hard to raise a man's kids and maintain a home plus work outside the home, while these guys cheat with their secretaries or the new girl in the office. I'm not mad at Kim for following her dream.
I think that Puffy and Kim situation is alot like Usher and Tameka's....the women both know things that will hurt the man career!!!
@ 2 thick, you can see the same pattern with Puffy & Kim, Tameka & usher and Angelina & Brad: the female is the dominant one because she's more confident and stronger mentally than the man she's with who has history of dogging women out. Men tend to be attracted to women that they see themselves in.
Missrook: You are right. Money cannot protect you from HIV.
The operative word with T-Pain and R-Kelly is "wife." Not girlfriend. Not side piece. Not jumpoff. Not baby momma.
Mrs. Kelly and Mrs. T-Pain would receive alimony as well as child support. : - )
PS Can someone tell me what is the price for selling your dignity?
First of all, Kim seems like she has so much going for herself that it's sad to see that she would put up with Puffy's nonsense ... even for money! She has the ability to make enough of her own to keep a roof over her head. Why stick with a trifling man?
Secondly, what's up with his tongue? Lately he's been spoofing LL with the tongue action, and it just ain't cute!
Thirdly, did I actually see a commercial where he is looking for another set of young men because he isn't happy with the current set (ala MTB 2)? CORNY!!!
Move on, Diddy!
If that was the hand she was dealt, she was definitely the dealer! I will applaud Kim for her hustle, b/c no matter what don't ever let 'em see you sweat. No matter how a man makes you feel, you better always be the Supawoman. But if you believe for one minute that she doesn't want the father of her children, the love of her life to come home to her, and give her his undivided love, time and attention...you better think again.
I bet whomever she confides in or better yet the walls in her bedroom would really tell the tale.
missrook said...
But if you believe for one minute that she doesn't want the father of her children, the love of her life to come home to her, and give her his undivided love, time and attention...you better think again.
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This is my point exactly - women like Kim don't need all that and the men know it. Some women are quite content being in relationships on their own terms. That's Kim. That's why she maintains a separate residence and separate bank accounts.
I think Kim Porter loves humiliation. I mean puffy ain't all that, he's getting old and still can't settle down. That's why Mischa left his ass, Kim was the jumpoff from start. Money is the root of all evil. I have two words MAGIC JOHNSON
As I am too some ones jump-off, I completely understand where she is coming from.... People always look at us as stupid, home wreckers, can't get their own man, etc... but that is totally not the case for all, or even most jump-offs. Being a jump-off is the woman or mans choice... And sometimes you get the better end of the deal as the jump-off because you don't have to commit, which leaves you open for an even better opportunity.
Most of us are too busy for relationships because it's a FULL time JOB, so we really don't go out to much to socialize for those reasons (getting a man). If you think about it, most men meet their jump-offs at work (as did Diddy and Kim)or other places of business. The men approach us most of the time.. Most jump-offs are constantly on the grind and men LOVE that... So while we know how to play on their emotions and needs, at the same time they are looking for a way into our hearts... And that is what makes us a challenge. Most men want their woman to be dependant on them... that is why they work harder on the one that is not. And that is why it's so hard for them to let the jump-off go because he KNOWS she'll be okay with out him! She does not broadcast herself that much, but ooh if she did!!
He knows that if she really went to the club or even to the mall and put on that F*ck em girl dress on *(Martin- Yo so crazy)* he would really be in trouble...
In my situation, I really do like this dude, but I am not ready for a serious relationship because of my trust issues, and what I'm trying to accomplish for myself. I don't know if I'm ready for "forever" yet with anybody. And although Kim has Diddy's children, maybe that's all she wants right now.. Cause I don't know about ya'll, but she looks damn good for 39... Diddy better stop before she leaves him while waving.... "I thought I told you that I won't stop"...Lol
Y'all need to print heartbreaker's post and read it to yourselves out loud: "most men meet their jump-offs at work (as did Diddy and Kim)or other places of business."
So for those of you who think your man would never cheat on you. You'd better pay a visit to the office and watch for the chick who either avoids making eye contact or seems overly friendly with you.
The LOVE of money is the root of all evil. The problem is when you love money so much that you will do any thing to get it.
Well the saying goes how u get him is how u keep him. In her case she was Misa's (Puffy's baby mama) friend. So she knows very well who he is
"Some of us want love and commitment and the traditional stability of having a man that's going to come home to you every night, have dinner, play with the kids, etc. Well that's not reality."
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As long as you think like this you'll settle for what Kim does; emptiness and MAYBE money.
Ask most people with money if that's what makes them happy. The truthful ones will tell you it doesn't. Too bad it takes some of us forever and a day to figure it out.
Money - YOUR Dignity = depression/unhappiness.
Thank you Missrook for telling it like it is. Happiness and drama don't go together.
Every woman, I mean EVERY woman needs that. Some a lot more than others. But in some degree, in some form or fashion, that's just in our nature. If not, what exactly would you get out of companionship? No love, no time, no attention...
Kim and Diddy 'work' b/c she doesn't need as much as other woman he's been involved with.
Thanks, Sandra, for your condolences.
Sandra Rose said...
Y'all need to print heartbreaker's post and read it to yourselves out loud:
____________________
LMBAO
It's the truth though!! That's where mines met me..Lol
He wasn't even attractive to me at first because I didn't even take the time to notice him because I'm networking all the time so I say hi to EVERYONE. He would just say slick sh*t every now and then and one time I noticed..Lol And that was like January of 2006... And it is still the same... You can't "keep" a man around no matter how hard you try, they stay because they want to..
I get tired of him every now and then and the confidant woman I am knows that I can let him go, but the problem is...he won't let me go... By me knowing that, I have the best hand. If I really wanted a serious relationship with him, at this point, I know just which way to play my cards.... but like I said before, I am not ready for that commitment :-)
A real jump-off knows that she has the upper hand. All wifey would want to do is fight over "her" man... Jump-offs don't have time for that fighting sh*t, you can have them for all that... But I bet you he'll want to go with the Jump-off..
@ heartbreaker, I always say a man has two wives: the one he comes home to and the one he goes to work to. Lol.
Well Kim isn't a jump off, she has three of kids.
Please don't take pride in that jumpoff label. You're not even a mistress. You're just some chick to have sex with.
I'm sorry, but I believe in the double standard when it comes to sex. I won't say men, I'll say males can stick it anywhere. I think that's why so many are on the downlow because gay sex tends to be more frequent with less strings attached.
Being a rich man's anything has benefits if you play your cards right. But just being a jumpoff for Average Joe is indeed STUPID!!!
This is nothing personal, just a situational assessment, Heartbreaker is just making excuses. You admitted to liking the guy, but you have trust issues when it comes to relationships. Could it be your afraid of women like you and having you're heart broken?
It doesn't help the problem when we lower our standards and contribute to the problem.
In-office affairs is the dumbest move you can ever make. Its not a game playing with people's emotions. It can be the difference between life and death. And the wife/husband will know where to find you both. And that's serious.
SR,
This is the second time I have read you condoning some baller figure making some woman look like a complete idiot. We all know how the game goes, don't get me wrong, but believe-you-me, she didn't have to pop out two more kids to secure her place in this man's life. She had one and that's about what it takes....She's already getting 35K off the first one. So what would really be the point of her getting knocked up again? To think that there in no love involved in these equations is a asinine. Maybe she wanted to one up Sarah - who you've reported on, and her new baby. If Kim and Tiny didn't love these dudes, they wouldn't put up with the bull-ish. Period. A Master Degree of Jump-offology? Listen to the way you sound. I wish that you would stop playing both sides of the fence. You may have Gucci, Fendi, Prada, but when you have HIV too, or no self-dignity to speak of, is it really worth it?
Sandra Rose said...
@ heartbreaker, I always say a man has two wives: the one he comes home to and the one he goes to work to. Lol.
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That is sooo true. And he is to cute sometimes. He works at my second job, and he knows I usually work when there is a big function. So when we haven't talked to one another in a minute (no more than 2 days..Lol) ... I'll catch him looking for me, trying to act like he was just walking around :-) It's so sweet sometimes..... I just don't know...Lol
It's to the point where I be lying about hanging out with my guy friends sometimes because he is really that attached to me... It's one of those at least 3 phone calls a day deals too...-1) to see if I am at work 2) to make sure I went straight home 3) You know... that 1am phone call to make sure my a$$ is asleep and to make sure I pick up the phone which indicates that no one is with me...Lol
I need to stop! But I know I can write a "How to book"...
This story was planted by someone in Kim's camp to shock Diddy and and save her from the "DOORMAT" persona that she has become!
" All wifey would want to do is fight over "her" man... Jump-offs don't have time for that fighting sh*t, ....
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YOU might not have time for fighting but if you come across the "right" wifey, you better make time because she will make time for you. LOL!
Don't get me wrong, I wish no physical harm to anyone, I'm just being real. Some wives will not settle for "take him back, you can have him". They want a piece of you for PAST indescresions. ;^D
Notice to jump-offs: keep that insurance current!
I am a "Wifey" and would not fight over my husband. I would ask the jumpoff, "Do you want him gift wrapped with a bow?" I look at it as a third paycheck to help me raise my children.(Sidebar: I hope she has a job. LOL)
Jumpoffs, just know that you will be helping me with all 3 of my children. : - )
@ Miss America,
Of course you have your opinion as anyone else would looking in from the outside. But you don't know mine nor his situation so I won't even go there with you :-)
I don't have to make excuses for anything. I have nothing to prove to anyone. But for the record I make more money than him, so it has nothing to do with that. I am a very attractive woman, so just like men get beat in the head for having money, men try that sh*t with me because of my looks. So believe me Miss America I love being me and what I have... He just broke down that wall, now I'll decide whether or not I want to be with him. And yes, I did say that I do like him and that I do have trust issues.. I wouldn't say it's because of woman like me, but I am human so I do know that my heart can be broken... but not necessarily over him leaving me for another woman.
That's why woman are so blind sided when it comes to men... Woman have to stop blaming other woman for their men leaving. A man can just wake up one day look at you, and just not want to be with you anymore. It's never nothing personal... It's just that woman take it toooooo personal and lets everything else break down too. I am not like that, but I am human so yes my heart can be broken too... but I am a different kind of woman so already know I will always bounce back.
As a matter a fact.. he's calling my phone right now..Lol And I just left his a&& yesterday...Lol
LOL @AttorneyMom said. Glad to hear you wouldn't fight over a man. Especially one who disrespects you by stepping out.
Just know that Jump-offs do the taking. What you described is a mistress.
Poor heartbreaker, your lil heart is sure too be broken soon. The game is what it is, and I respect every aspect of it. However, you are no longer just the jumpoff b/c your feelings are already involved. A real jumpoff defines a clear line between friends and lovers. A REAL jumpoff doesn't have to lie about what she's doing b/c ain't no shame in her game and the man she's sleeping with knows his time and place and he knows he is not the only one. And a real jumpoff would put that fool in check with all those stalking telephone calls LOL
Again I respect the game but for those of you who don't know...karma is a _______
A whore by any other name is still a whore.
Karrine 'Superhead'Steffins
Bobby Brown
K-Fed
it's all the same.
God has blessed us all with gifts and talents. If someone chooses to lay on their back legs spread and mouth shut,gets no slap on the back from me. And if anyone believes she is happy and secure in this relationship needs to re-read the Essence article. That J-Lo public slap in the face still stings..
missrook said...
And a real jumpoff would put that fool in check with all those stalking telephone calls LOL
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She's got you there, heartbreaker. ;)
Heart Breaker! I'm not too clear about your post? Do you live with someone, are you sleeping with somebody's man?
i disagree whole heartedly with your opinion, philosophy and comments. I see why people say you are kissing certain people's behinds. I must say that first, a woman deserves to be treated like a queen. All men are not dogs and all men do not cheat. There are some good ones out there. Don't look like a fool and let a man disrespect you because he has money. So what, if you are getting a check, prostitues get paid after every deed. She is from my home town, she is a sucker and a fool, and will always be for the right pay check. It's a disgrace and i hope she wakes up one day and get s a JOB and becomes a strong, independent woman like OPRAH! I would never let a man play me, i don't care who he is! She is the #! Fool in my book.
How sad that this constitutes a relation. I'm not naive, I know there are woman who have this master plan, but it's just sad. They actually deserve each other. He's a ho and she's an idiot. And she is absolutely completely dependant on him. She would have nothing if it wasn't for him and his child support. God I'm glad I have a real man and I would never have to compromise my self-respect.
@ angela, how is living in her own mansion and maintaining her own bank accounts, depending on him?
"Sandra Rose said...
@ heartbreaker, I always say a man has two wives: the one he comes home to and the one he goes to work to. Lol.
Jul 5, 2007 1:08:00 PM"
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Sandra,
This is so funny, has a ring of truth, and made me think of my dentist. I had this sense that something was going on between him and the secretary/front desk person. I do not know why that crossed my mind several years ago, but when I had a series of appointments one year, I would sit in the waiting room and watch how her demeanor would change whenever he came to the front desk to verify information with her. Her behavior was suspect. You know, extra smiling, giggling, blushing, etc.
Well after I had my first procedure for a root canal, I get a call around 8:00pm at night. It was him. He was calling to see if I was feeling all right…lol, whether I was in any pain. It was awkward and I felt uncomfortable, because of the tone of his voice, and because I have never had a call that late in the evening from a dentist. I rationalized; perhaps he is just a good dentist that likes to personally check on his patients. Then I countered that thought with, well does he really have time to check on ALL of his patients after hours.
On one appointment, I arrived around lunchtime and I think I had to see either the hygienist or surgeon, but I was in the parking lot and saw them walking away from the office. Outside of the office, their relationship did not look so business like, as they looked too close for comfort.
Well to sum things up, I went back a couple of years later and found he had married someone from his country, and had a young baby, and I saw pics of the family in the clinical area. The secretary was still there, and I tell you, her mannerisms were worse. I could not help, but strongly feel something was still going on, and he had woman at work as well as his unsuspecting wife at home.
I did mind my own business. But I think it was right there in my face and so obvious.
True! True! Lol.... There is always room for some schooling!!! It looks like you've done this before missrook :-)
I will never lie about having real feelings for him... But ya'll don't know who the bleep I am :-) I can tell ya'll all day how I really feel... but he will never know until the time is right... If it ever is...
And I get so many phone calls because I don't call him. So he is always thinking about my next move...
I am reading what everyone is saying and I am cracking up. I wouldn't fight over my husband either. He is welcome to leave and like attorney mom said, take him, that way I can have every other weekend free and a child support check too. LOL
All jokes aside, I wouldn't want my kids to have to go through that but if I had to, I would do it rather than have to deal with the foolishness of knowing that my man is out there and not doing anything about it.
Sandra, I am surprise at you. There are somethings that should not be for sale. Like, oh I don't know, perhaps.... possibly self-respect, dignity - just to name a few.
@Heartbreaker per your response to my comment.
That's good to know!
But upon reading about these phone calls to see if you went to the bathroom.
Just a heads up, girl you better RUUUNNNN!
You ain't hardly no jump off and you probably won't be able to get rid of him now if you tried.
Sandra, I am surprised at you. There are somethings that should not be for sale. Like, oh I don't know, perhaps.... possibly self-respect, dignity - just to name a few.
Tiny graduated top of the class in jump-off-ology class as well. I hear she and kim were in a heated race for valedictorian.
@ miss america
First of all!! Thank you for being able to have a grown up conversation with me:-)
I know I can't get rid of him easily now :-) And that's how I know if I wanted him to dead that relationship with his so called "girl", I could.... But it's not that serious to me now because I don't know if I want him or anyone else as a full-time man. All I really do is go to work, school, and spend time on my business that I'm starting... The last time I went to the Club or even out for a drink was in like 2004..
Since I met him at my second job and it happened to get to this level, he is all I know right now... but that is by my choice. I am working towards getting my life straight for ME right now, he just came out of no where...honestly!!
So why should I sell myself short and settle with him right now, and I haven't even put myself out there to meet others..you know??? And he knows that about me too, and that is why he is sticking so close... Not to toot my own horn, but I know what I'm working with both physically and mentally... and no I'm not a size 6... I am a solid 12-14 (depending on the cut..Lol), and no I am not ashamed..Lol
Some of us want love and commitment and the traditional stability of having a man that's going to come home to you every night, have dinner, play with the kids, etc. Well that's not reality.
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It is reality. It's just not YOUR reality.
Ummmm...Heartbreaker....If you make more than him with TWO jobs, it sounds like you might need to step your game up just a little bit more....Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to go there with you..but you and dude sound like the blind leading the blind. Good luck to you guys and any woman who would call HERSELF a jump off...
ChangeInEffect said...
Some of us want love and commitment and the traditional stability of having a man that's going to come home to you every night, have dinner, play with the kids, etc. Well that's not reality.
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It is reality. It's just not YOUR reality.
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I know a man who goes home and plays with his kids. Then he leaves and goes to the jump off's home and plays with her kids.
All of this going back and forth about who is a jump off and who isn't sickens me.
Does anyone long for a committed relationship? To be the only woman/man your signifigant other is investing time and money in?
I just recently became single after a five year relationship. If this is what the dating scene looks now (especially in Atlanta), I can do without it all. Hell, I can do bad all by myself.
Sandra Rose said...
I know a man who goes home and plays with his kids. Then he leaves and goes to the jump off's home and plays with her kids.
Jul 5, 2007 3:34:00 PM
^^^That is just foul!
Obviously this post if full of (some) people with very low self esteem. In most cases self esteem is taught and learned from parent figures. .moms & dads. As I read this post I am wondering if the same people condoning a 'jump off" status as OK ever saw how a real relationship between a strong woman and man is. I am thinking not! It seems like some of you were not taught independence, strength & self respect, nor did you guys have a stand up man around to know that when a man really loves a women no way would he settle or lower his standards for a jump off or wh*re. My mom and dad are very strong examples for me. As I read some of the post and response I can't help but feel sorry for some of you because your missing out on something so real and beautiful. It's called real love and commitment and it does not have to be at all compromised. I thank god for my parents and others out there that are a real example of how love is supposed to be. For those of you condoning jump offs. .etc. I am praying for you and help is out there. Don't settle. You are entitled to a real love and a real man/woman who will put you first in every aspect of their lives. Don't let anyone tell you different and don't let past issues make you so bitter to where you think you are not entitled to better & that ALL men or the same so why bother. If some of you don't mind, can you tell me if you ever saw a real relationship minus all the cheating drama or major abuse? Were there any strong stand up male figures in your lives? How did you see your mother's treated in their relationships. I am not being insultive I would just like to know what you guys saw that makes you condone lowering your standards the way you have.
OMG sunshine, I agree! Respect and self-love is taught and modeled after! Possibly from the familial structure.
I was wondering where all the women were!!!!
This is why we gotta place a better emphasis on the black family.
OUR LITTLE GIRLS ARE LOST....
I'm reading through heartbreakers comments and then sandra rose's comments and I'm like??? wtf? is this where the standards have come? A fat black woman being proud of being a man's "jump-off" being utilized for sex purposes. Self-esteem RUINED!
Believe me, I've been a side chick And I've grown out of that phase, proudly. There is NOTHING to be proud of. And you're still getting excited that he's calling you. How old are you? You think being available to him, excuse me no, how do jump-off's put it, "Him being available TO YOU" right? you think that's cute. Girl, you're convenient to him. When your ass is left alone on holidays with no man. I bet you get $5.99 IHOP breakfast deals and THAT'S ABOUT IT. No benefits, no gifts. .... Ok.
Surely, you need to admit that you are one, sad, insecure chick.
When you become a real woman and learn to distinguish between a good man who doesn't place you at risk for HIV & will commit to you and a little boy who just wants to bed you & degrade than maybe we can converse.
Sandra, please don't be bitter. I know some good men who go home to their beautiful black wives AND children, and actually stay home.
Get it together
Also that is not kim;s house that we have been seeing with the twin's nursery in it and on the video. That is puffys 10 million dollar alpine,nj estate im sure she does have a house in jersey but the one we are seeing is not the one.
I feel sorry for the kids kim let puffy rob he rlife and now inturn there robbing there kids lives all that unstability cant be good for them no matter how much money you have. I blame puffy but I also blame kim she cant get past her own greedyness and the fight for attention. To chase a person like puffy around all your life shows what kind of self esteem you have. I really feel sorry for the kids most of all.
@sunshine...Although I had poor examples for a healthy relationship, I completely feel what you are saying. You took the words right out of my head.
Just when I thought all hope was lost.
I agree- with the absence of a "stand-up men" little black girls are GIVING OF THEMSELVES, freely and excessively.
And we got these size 12-14 whores with tight clothing on thinking it would be a cute idea to write a book about whoring for free? WHAT? So you can end up unmarried like superhead? Bitter like Carmen bryan. UNWED Mothers?
Thank you God for saving me. Thank you God, for in the midst of me being raised by a (hard-working) single mother, watching these white (and some black) women have the benefits of marriages, trust-funds, and gaining wealth through real-estate, I am heading toward that road. It starts with not willing to settle for some man's cheap thrill and having some dignity.
When you love yourself, someone will Love you.
ChangeInEffect said...
Some of us want love and commitment and the traditional stability of having a man that's going to come home to you every night, have dinner, play with the kids, etc. Well that's not reality.
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It is reality. It's just not YOUR reality.
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When you spend 12-16 hours at work so you can afford to support your family, that's not reality. People spend more time away from home depending on your job. Times have changed and so have standards. I'm not saying its a good thing, its the worse thing that can happen to relationships.
I believe in love and only having one man in my life. Never been a side piece, never had the desire. My daddy raised me to know better and I told myself I would do better.
My mother was the one that cheated on my father and left the family, so I know first hand. But my parents have remained friends because my father is a damn good man, so I know they are out there and that is my standard.
So if my man decided to cheat, he got to go because I'm not leaving. And I'm not fighting.
But in the case of Kim Porter who holds the key to Puffy's heart, well all I can say is, if your heart stops, you're dead!!!!
This post should have been called The Saga Continues because this rumor, if true, is just apart of the norm for their seesaw relationship. Sandra, you asked how is living in her own mansion and having her own bank account dependent on him...well it is dependent on him when he is the one that gives you the finances to have your own mansion and money in the bank account. Let's not get the situation twisted with a comparision to Brad/Angie and Usher/Tameka because while Angie and Tameka may be considered dominant women, I HARDLY think that Kim can be placed in this category. What upper hand does Kim have? In the other two cases, you can clearly see how their involvement in their men's lives have really changed or effected them. I cannot see any changes in Diddy that I could attribute to Kim. He seems to be up to the same ole same ole that has been doing throught their entire relationship. At some point the dynamics have to change. Also, like someone said, if you have read what she had to say in Essence, you would know that she wants to be more than just a jump-off but is willing to accept that status because that's all he's willing to give her. I also remember her making a comment in the Vibe about them being "soulmates" and someone, I thought on this site, talking about how she has her wedding dress all picked out and knows exactly what she wants down to the small details. These are not teh thoughts of someone who is content with being a jump-off. This is someone who wants to be wifey! The "I know he'll be back" mentality she had through the JLo situation is what tells me that she doesn't have the upper hand at all and is more than willing to let him keep coming back for more, despite what people are telling her. Her Master's Degree is more likely in "The Perfect Baby's Mama and Beard".
hudiva said...
...well it is dependent on him when he is the one that gives you the finances to have your own mansion and money in the bank account.
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You don't know Kim Porter enough to make any judgment on her. All you know is the public Kim that you see in the media and on blogs. Back in the 90s Puffy used to throw parties in major cities. Sometimes he didn't show up for the parties, but guess who was always at the door collecting the money? That's right, Kim.
She wasn't inside looking cute up in VIP. She was at the door counting the cash. I know this because she hired me for these parties and she paid me. It's rare that a man trusts a woman with his money like that when he's not around. So Kim is more than just a jump off who is dependant on her man. Kim is very smart and has her own money.
Sunshine's post is the one that needs to be printed out and not Heartbreakers. With all due respect Heartbreaker, why risk being his jump-off if he clearly is beneath you financially? What's the benefit in that besides the sex? Also, can someone tell me what the difference is btw being a mistress vs jump-off because I thought they were one in the same.
@ hudiva, a mistress is a woman involved in an extra-marital affair where she doesn't necessarily benefit financially, but she's in it for the love.
A jumpoff (from the female perspective) is a woman who uses men who have the financial means to jump start her on the road to riches.
Examples of a mistress:
Halle Berry
Britney Spears
Nicole Kidman
Angelina Jolie
Examples of a jumpoff:
Kim Porter
Tameka Foster
Tracey Edmonds
Anna Nicole Smith
From the male's perspective, a jump off is a brief sexual encounter or a side piece whom he occasionally breaks off in return for sex (no relationship involved).
Sandra,
Maybe she does make money in her own right but the example that you gave further proves my point and not the point that you were trying to make. Collecting the money for HIS party just brings it back to the point of her being dependent on him. If it were no Puff, there would be no party thus no place for her to collect money in his absence.
"side piece"
LOL
Could not resist...but I just thought about KFC. Think um gonna go...lol
Sandra, it sounds to me as though in order to live the celebrity lifestyle you come in contact with, you've compromised yourself. To me, even though I don't know you, it seems that you've watched the dysfunctional (and everyone is aware that Hollywood attracts dysfunctional people trying to escape their mediocre pasts) "relationships" and all the BS celebrities put one another through and is bitter and cynical by default. At 23, I'm just appalled by the comments people have made about jump-offs and such because at the end of the day, everyone is alone and has to deal with their own demons--regardless of what the public sees or even what lies a person is telling themselves.
If a one man-one woman close, deep, "down" relationship isn't what God intended for us to have, then He must not be real because he wants that sort of relationship with US. SMH...
I know a man who goes home and plays with his kids. Then he leaves and goes to the jump off's home and plays with her kids.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
This doesn't mean all men who take care of business at home go astray. Of my 4 brothers, 1 turned dog. I still love him but he has issues with commitment and doesn't mind sharing details with the other brothers--who eventually tell me.
Sandra, do you think it's ironic that the "dog" seems unhappier than my other brothers? In fact, most cheats (men and women) always claim to be having the time of their life--when in reality, most of them are a sad mess.
I am quite sure Kim has a jumpoff herself. She would be crazy not too.
I can't even believe some of the stuff that I am reading on here. Where has the women of America's self esteeem gone? Yeah, you can play that role of not wanting to be with a man who truly loves you and treats you with the kindness and respect that you deserve. But who really is at your house with you alone at night with your money that he has given to you while he is out with another woman?
You can say that you're happy and that you love your position, but you ain't fooling nobody. Unless you're a get around girl, lesbian, or someone who just got out of a long term relationship, you ain't happy being the jumpoff. Ladies, please find some self respect. Please know that your goodies should be sacred to you. Not to be just given away to some random nigga because he's "caked up".
Final thought/?: How important is that money gonna be when the doctor says, " I'm sorry to inform you Ms.------, but your H.I.V. test has come back positive."
The chic whose proud to be a jumpoff has obviously not had the benefit of a loving relationship, nor does she realize her worth.
This chick is the reason why most black girls don't get married
Puffy ain't letting her go. His child support payments will be 250k a month. She did just drop those twins. LOL
Mistarie,
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. You said exactly what I was thinking. I love the way the jump offs are trying to come off as smart, independent women. The smarties in these love triangles are the WIVES. If the husband decides to leave her at the very least she'll get half, child support and alimony if needed.
IMO, jump offs are whores plain and simple are not at all smart and although most of them may have their own jobs and be financially independent they are still dependant in so many other ways.
I don't believe for one second that any woman is happy and content being a side piece. No matter how they may try to convince us otherwise they are so transparent. I believe that a women should get out there and sow those wild oats but after a while that gets old. That doesn't mean sleeping with some other woman's man but there is nothing wrong with having a few suitors as long as he is free to court.
I am a married woman with three children and I will not tolerate anything less than a loyal husband. I demand respect and I give him the same. There is no room for a "side piece whore" in my marriage. I told my husband very early on in my marriage that if he ever wanted to cheat he is welcome to leave but that I refuse to be an incubator for some nasty disease that he decides to bring home. I have drawn my line in the sand. He respects that and that is part of what keeps us together love and mutual respect.
Listen here ladies if you are the jump off in any relationship you do not hold the respect of this man. He sees you as a piece of ass and you can spend day and night trying to convince yourselves otherwise.
Remember you teach people how to treat you.
roxie said...
I told my husband very early on in my marriage that if he ever wanted to cheat he is welcome to leave but that I refuse to be an incubator for some nasty disease that he decides to bring home. I have drawn my line in the sand.
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Come on now, do you relly think he's going to let you catch him cheating after you've drawn your line in the sand? Most men marry because they want the comfort of a stable home and a woman to carry on the good work of their mothers - you know, cooking and cleaning. The way men have perfected the cheating game it's really hard to catch them at it. That old saying still applies: What you don't know won't hurt you.
Doesn't he beat her?
Sandra Rose said:
That old saying still applies: What you don't know won't hurt you.
That's the thing Sandra, I've never met a wife who's been cheated on that didn't know. I've been cheated on in a previous relationship, ooooooooh and I had that feeling.
I have an uncle who cheats on my aunt and she told me she always knew. When I say cheat, Sandra girl a twenty year affair. Got to the point where he stopped hiding it. I always looked up to these people as the couple I wanted be like when I got married. Talk about a punch in the gut. She's too comfortable to leave and in her words " Too old to be struggling and starting over".
Now I'm not saying my husband will never cheat. Never say never. I just want him to know that he is welcomed to leave. Of course I'll be heartbroken but I'm old enough to know there's other fish in the sea.
Yes I do cook and clean but all that would be going on with or without him, hey, I gotta eat too.
One more thing, don't you think that there are men out there that marry for love? I like to think that my husband loves me and not the fresh scent of Pine-Sol when he walks in the door;)
Sandra, two questions. In your mind is a wife nothing more than a maid, cook and babysitter? Are jump-offs these nubile, exciting, sexy temptresses who will not be denied?
I don't know it's just a vibe I'm getting in this thread.
@ roxie, I have learned from experience that there is one thing that will keep a man from cheating: Fear. If a man fears losing what he has (wife, stable home, kids, personal property) it's very likely he won't cheat. If she's a strong, dominant woman - like Dog the Bounty Hunter's wife - the likelihood of him cheating is decreased significantly. I have a male friend who fears losing his wife and kids. We had a heart to heart and he does not cheat (trust me, I twisted his arm to make him tell me the truth). That doesn't mean he hasn't had the opportunity - this is Atlanta and straight men are scarce here. But he said he avoids situations where he might be eniticed into cheating.
Well, I have to agree with you there. Sounds like your friend is simply a good man which is probably why he's your friend. I can respect a man like that. Although, I hope that it's more than just his fear of losing things but also the joy of what he's gained. Those fears you listed sounds like pretty good gains also. I like to think my husband is that kind of man.
Keep doing what you do girl. Nighty, night.
Personally I don't see Kim Porter as being smart. I dont think it is very smart to continue to have babies with no real committment. That is just my thought. I guess money makes up for all that. i really don't think Diddy cares one way or the other. Some men rather pay than stay!!! I also think Kim got what she deserved I have read several places that she got w/Diddy whike he was w/Misa Hylton-Brim. I was always taught that you reap what you sow !! So there you go. In regards to Ms. Porter's spacious home, one day on Dr. Phil he told a women in KP's situation that she basically sold her self respect for a pile of bricks!! I think that also applies to KP. That's just opinion.
Sandra, please clarify.
Are you saying that it is okay to be a jump-off or whore as long as you get paid????? Are you telling me it is all about the Benjamins Baby???
Are you and Kim Porter creeping???? LOL. You are giving way too much respect to a jump-off.
I will give Miss Porter some credit. “I am not saying she’s a gold-digger. She just ain’t messing with no broke *&^%^!!!”
^^ @ attorneymom, I'm not saying it's okay, but since it's a reality and it's happening every day to women whose husbands are making cake - I say to the jumpoffs/golddiggers: GET YOURS!
I also say to the wives out there who got their rich/famous boyfriends/husbands through unscrupulous means: watch your man because the same thing that happened to his ex will happen to you.
In my 39 years, I have seen people get theirs - worst than what they dished out. The Bible says you shall reap what you sow.
I made a vow that I would not mess with a married man. I promised not inflict that kind of pain on another woman. Adultery is a no-no.
Sandra do you have a man?
Are you bitter and lonely?
Just askin?
I think that the ones in here condoning being jump-offs are the ones that are bitter because they can't get and KEEP a good man.
It is reality, however, the jump-offs get the raw deal.
Even if Kim Porter doesn't hold the keys to his heart...she surely holds the key to his pocket book...with all that child support she keeps going back to court to increase from $25k A MONTH TO NOW $45K. Lets not forget she just jad twins..Do we hear a bump to $60k??
I find it funny when women label themselves as jumpoffs and find glory itn it. What they fail to see is that it's all about sex. I'm a female and if I found someone willing to sex me knowing I have a woman, you better believe she ain't going anywhere.
Oh...unitil I get tired of screwing her.
The fact that she settled for being my jumpoff makes it clear who terms we are on...Mine! Jumpoffs have to tell themselves they're the best kept secret. That keeps them from acknowledging, they're selling themselves short.
Most jumpoffs pretend they don't want a relationship. Mainly because they know their role and what it entails.It entails them not looking for a relationship that the man knows from the start she isn't getting. Play the part, be a sex buddy, someone a man will tell BullSh*t to and leave and go home to the wife or girlfriend. In the end jumpoffs do want the same thing the wife and girlfriend wants...the man. That's why so many of them, spend year after year with the same man. The whole not wanting him as their man is just BS. The jumpoff is so replaceable, as soon as another woman comes along and wants to play herself, the jumpoff will be gone.
Women need to stop selling themselves short...Jumpoffs especially! They say they don't want committment but being a jumpoff to SOMEONE elses' man takes committment, whether they admit it or not!
It sounds like Kim is setting herself up to make some serious moves. finally! I hope she takes a clue from Kimora. She has already passed through Stage 1. She's got Puffy's "wallet" on Lock, now she needs to build her own name in modeling, entertainmen, fashion, whatever. She needs to restablish herself and regain some dignity and move on. She definitely needs to leave Puffy and stop being his concubine.. an expensive one, but a concubine no less. The definition is so fitting- "Concubine- A woman who is the lover of a wealthy man but with the social status of a subordinate form of wife, often kept in a separate house" Kim needs to roll out and become the next black hollywood socialite, align herself with some sort of cause, date some fine ass men and enjoy her life... She is not getting any younger. Girl, Don't waste the Pretty!
Sandra, Kim does not own the keys to Diddy's Heart. Diddy is in love with one person, HIMSELF!!!!! She is his permanent B E A R D !!!!!!!!
Sandra, everything that you have said that Kim Porter has, comes back to Puffy. She collected money at HIS parties. The mansion and bank accounts that she has is because of HIM. She laid down on her back, had children, and he is supporting them and her. No one ever heard of her until she has Puffy's child. Face it! Model, actress, PLEASE!!!! The only thing that she will be known for is being one of Puffy's baby mammas! I appreciate Misa for not sticking around. Yeah she got married again and had two more kids and the marriage did not work out, but at least she was not stupid enough to let the same man fool her up over and over again. Did you read Essence magazine? He said that he did not think that men were made to have just one women (or something like that). She was trashing J-Lo, butat least she has a career. Even Misa has a career as a stylist and designer. She kept saying that he did not love J-Lo, and he might has said the same thing to in the article. But weeks later, on the Tyra Banks show, Tyra asked him if he really loved Jennifer. He said YES!!! And I believe him. He never disrespected her! The only reason he went back to Kim was because Jennifer dropped him like it was HOT!! Kim does not hold the key to his heart. That is so false. And by the way, jump-offs, do not stick around for as long as she has because it could get emotional, like it has for her. It's all about sex and cash, temporarily! And babies, jump-offs clearly do not have babies! WHAT! ARE YOU SERIOUS!! LOL! Kim Porter's situation goes like this: She met Al B. Sure, had a baby by him because he was hot back then and she thought she hit the jackpot. Turns out, he did not want to even claim the child. She met Puffy, and the rest is history. She stuck around and she will continue to stick around. Not because she is a jump-off, but because she is a DUMMY!
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